TITLE: Using Figurative Language in the Picture Prompt
TASK DEVELOPER: Cheryl Krapohl
CONTENT AREA AND GRADE: Applications of English III, Grade 11
TARGET TEACHING DATE: October 2007
SCHOOL: John F. Kennedy High School

STANDARDS:

WRITING - GRADE 9-12

STANDARD 3.2 WRITING: All students will write in clear, concise, organized language that varies in content and form for different audiences and purposes.

Strand A. Writing as a Process (prewriting, drafting, revising, editing, postwriting): By the end of grade 12, students will:

3. Analyze and revise writing to improve style, focus and organization, coherence, clarity of thought, sophisticated word choice and sentence variety, and subtlety of meaning.
6. Use a scoring rubric to evaluate and improve own writing and the writing of others.
7. Reflect on own writing and establish goals for growth and improvement.

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PERFORMANCES:
  • The students will identify, analyze, and create examples of figurative language -- metaphors, similies, personification -- and will incorporate them into their picture prompts.

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SETTING:

Real World Setting:  Education

You are a high school student taking the HSPA. You are faced with adding figurative language to your picture prompt. You must choose places in your picture prompt that are lacking in descriptive detail, and create examples of figurative language to add to those places.  Once you have completed creating your examples for your picture prompt, you will share your writing with your peer writing partner.

Requirements:

  • Students will have already completed a picture prompt task.
  • Students will analyze a literary excerpt and other students' picture prompts (score point 5 and 6) and identify examples of simile, personification, and metaphor.
  • Students will create at least three similes, two examples of personification, and one metaphor to incorporate into their picture prompts.

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SMARTSKILLS:

Level I: Acquiring Data - Data students will acquire in this standards-based task:

  • Examples of simile, metaphor, and personification

Level II: Visualizing Information - Data from Level I that are visualized as information in this standards-based task:

  • Organizing information: Label examples from other sources.
  • Creating: Create original examples.

Level III: Applying Knowledge - Visualized information from Level II that is applied knowledge in this standards-based task:

  • Making decisions:  Deciding where in picture prompt to add examples of figurative language.
  • Creating solutions:  Creating and using "compositional risks" to increase score on picture prompt.

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PREFERENCES:

Student Involvement - The students will complete the task individually, as a cooperative group, and in a whole class group setting

Use of Resources - The school will provide classroom time to complete the task

Use of Resources - The students will provide classroom materials such as pencils, paper, notebooks and homework time

Customer for Student Work - The students will present their work as evidence of task completion to peers and teachers

Assessment of Student Work - The student's teacher and peers will be involved in assessing student work generated to complete the task.

Assessment of Student Work - The following forms of assessment will be used to determine progress and results:

  • Performance assessment
  • Portfolio
  • Essay

Reporting Results - The assessment results will be reported:

  • as a score point on a rubric
  • as the total points for a checklist
  • as a reflection in a portfolio

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ACTIVITIES:

20-60-20 Teaching Model

Segment One: Mini-Lesson - Estimated Time: 20% of allocated time

During this segment of the lesson:

  1. Review the definitions of simile, metaphor, and personification.
  2. Have small groups analyze a literary excerpt for use of simile, personification, and metaphor.

Materials for this segment:  Suggestion: Use excerpts from Speak.
Student product or performance for this segment: Examples of literary devices.
Scoring tool for this segment: Checklist

Segment Two: Practice - Estimated Time: 60% of allocated time

During this segment of the lesson:

  1. Have reading pairs analyze sample picture prompts for use of figurative language.
  2. Have students select 6 places in their own picture prompts that could use embellishment.  
  3. Have students create 3 similes, 2 examples of personification, and 1 metaphor to add to those places in their picture prompts.
  4. Have students revise their picture prompts for continuity.

Materials for this segment:

  1. Sample student picture prompts (score point 5 or 6).
  2. Students' own picture prompts. 

Student product or performance for this segment:

  1. Examples of literary devices from student picture prompts.
  2. Examples of literary devices created for their own picture prompts.

Scoring tool for this segment: Checklist, Holistic Scoring Rubric

Segment Three: Feedback - Estimated Time 20% of allocated time

During this segment of the lesson:

  1. Administer an assessment of student work
  2. Have students and peer writing partners check completed work against the checklists and the holistic scoring rubric.
  3. Provide feedback between the student and the teacher
  4. When peers have completed assessment, teacher will verify accuracy of peer assessment

Materials for this segment: Checklist and Holistic Scoring Rubric
Student product or performance for this segment: Completed checklists and rubric analysis
Scoring tool for this segment: Checklist and Holistic Scoring Rubric

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SCORING:

Checklist for Speak:

________3 similes

________3 personification

________3 metaphor

Checklist for Score Point 5 Picture Prompt:

________ similes identified in prompt

________ metaphors identified in prompt

________ personification identified in prompt

Checklist for Score Point 6 Picture Prompt

________ similes identified in prompt

________ metaphors identified in prompt

________ personification identified in prompt

Checklist for original examples

________ 3 similes created

________ 1 metaphors created

________ 2 personification created

 Registered Holistic Scoring Rubric for Writing

New Jersey Registered Holistic Scoring Rubric - GEPA/HSPA
In Scoring, consider the grid of  written
language		 Inadequate Command Limited Command Partial Command Adequate Command Strong Command Superior Command
Score
1
2
3
4
5
6
Content & Organization

- May lack opening and/or closing

 - May lack opening and/or closing - May lack opening and/or closing - Generally has opening and/or closing - Opening and closing - Opening and closing
- Minimal response to topic; uncertain focus - Attempts to focus
- May drift or shift focus		 - Usually has single focus - Single focus - Single focus
- Sense of unity and coherence
- Key ideas developed		 - Single, distinct focus
- Unified and coherent
- Well-developed
- No planning evident; disorganized - Attempts organization
- Few, if any, transitions between ideas		 - Some lapses or flaws in organization
- May lack some transitions between ideas		 - Ideas loosely connected
- Transition evident		 - Logical progression of ideas
- Moderately fluent
- Attempts compositional risks		 - Logical progression of ideas
- Fluent, cohesive
- Composi-tional risks successful
- Details random, inappropriate, or barely apparent - Details lack elaboration, i.e., highlight paper - Repetitious details
- Several unelaborated details		 - Uneven development of details - Details appropriate and varied -Details effective, vivid, explicit, and/or pertinent
Usage - No apparent control
- Severe/
numerous errors		 - Numerous errors - Errors/ patterns of errors may be evident - Some errors that do not interfere with meaning - Few errors - Very few, if any, errors
Sentence Structure -Assortment of incomplete and/or incorrect sentences - Excessive monotony/ same structure
Numerous errors		 - Little variety in syntax
- Some errors		 - Some errors that do not interfere with meaning - Few errors - Very few, if any, errors
Mechanics - Errors so severe they detract from meaning -Numerous serious errors - Patterns of errors evident - No consistent pattern of errors
- Some errors that do not interfere with meaning		 - Few errors - Very few, if any, errors
Non-Scorable Responses NR = No Response Student wrote too little to allow reliable judgement of his/her writing.
OT = Off Topic/ Off Task Student did not write on the assigned topic/task, or the student attempted to copy the prompt.
NE = Not English Student wrote in a language other than English.
WF = Wrong Format Student refused to write on the topic, or the writing task folder was blank.
Content & Organization
Usage
Sentence Construction
Mechanics
- Communicates intended message to intended audience
- Relates to topic
- Opening and closing
- Focused
- Logical progression of ideas
- Transitions
- Appropriate details and information		 - Tense formation
- Subject-verb agreement
- Pronouns usage/agreement
- Word choice/meaning
- Proper modifiers		 - Variety of type, structure, and length
- Correct construction		 - Spelling
-Capitalization
- Punctuation
Source: http://www.njpep.org/assessment/TestSpecs/LangArts/Scoring/RubricsNJwritingHolistic.html

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RESULTS:

Organize: I will use the following chart to display student data for each time that I assess and score the same learning standard(s):

Data-Driven Teaching and Results

Data-Driven Results Disaggregated by Gender and All Students
Content Standard and Proficiency Levels: 6 or 5 is above proficient, 4 is proficient, 3, 2, and 1 are below proficient.
Students
Scoring Results
Last Name and First Name
Male
Female
All Students
1. Student 1
6
 
6
2.Student 2
 
3
3
3.Student 3
4
4
4.Student 4
4
4
5.Student 5
6
6
6.Student 6
5
5
7.Student 7
4
4
8.Student 8
4
4
9.Student 9
 
5
5
10.Student 10
  
4
  
# Of students at the Advanced Performance Level
2
2
4
# Of students at the Proficient Performance Level
2
3
5
# Of students at the Basic Performance Level 0 1 1
% of Students equal to or greater than the Proficient Level (Total # of students at the proficient and advanced levels divided by the total number of students) 100% 8% 8%
# of students who improved from unrevised prompt score. 4 5 9

Summarize:

Note:  This lesson was taught in conjunction with a previous lesson, "Adding descriptive detail to the Picture Prompt Response."

Based on the findings, I discovered that improvement had no basis in gender.  The student who scored below proficient is a mainstreamed special education student.  All other students were able to improve their picture prompt score with the addition of figurative language.

Reflection:

The results of this lesson provide hope for teachers wishing to improve their students' chances of passing the HSPA.  There are concrete lessons that can be taught to students.  The scoring guide of the HSPA provides a 5 for students who, among other things, "attempt compositional risks."

Action Plan:

In addition to continuing to teach this lesson, I will look for other areas of the students' writing that I can help to improve based on the scoring guide for the HSPA.

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